Bella, Edward, and the Twenty Q Ball
by YoolieYick
Summary: Bella and Edward playing with a Twenty Q ball and trying to make it guess vampire... This is completely random... Oneshot... Takes place any random time after New Moon, it doesn't matter. Bella is NOT a vampire! Cute, funny, a little fluffy.


"What is that?" Edward asked as he climbed through my window and out of the tree in Charlie's front yard. It had been a rare sunny day today, and I had been waiting patiently for him to come over since school had let out.

I glanced at the clock. School had only ended five and a half hours ago. It wasn't _that _long of a wait.

And I was the Queen of Sheba.

Which brought us back to Edward's question. I held up the small baseball-sized globe of purple plastic. "Charlie gave it to me," I explained. "It's a Twenty Q ball."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "What does it do?"

I rolled my eyes. For being over one hundred years old, Edward could really be so naïve. "You play Twenty Questions with it. You think of something, and then answer the questions it gives you, using the answers, yes, no, sometimes, or unknown. It's incredibly smart. And entertaining."

A mischievous look flashed across my boyfriend's face. "Can it guess _anything_?" he asked, coming to sit next to me on my bed. Wrapping an arm around my waist, he kissed my forehead.

My heart pounded.

Why did he always have that effect on me?

I forgot the question. "Um, what?"

Edward laughed. "Does it know _everything_?"

Oh, right. "Well, earlier today, I was trying to get it to guess the weirdest things I could come up with."

"Which were?" he prompted, grinning my favorite crooked smile.

I blushed for no apparent reason. "It guessed emu, and kiwi bird. It guessed..." I paused, thinking. "Naked mole rat. Panda bear. Coconut. And some other random and odd things."

Like underwear. But I wasn't going to tell Edward that one. For some reason, the little ball had used the term 'panties'.

"So almost anything," I concluded, frowning at the hunk of plastic. "But whenever I tried vampire, it guessed alien. Or pirate."

Edward grinned. "Perhaps you didn't know enough about the subject. Let's try again, shall we?"

I pressed the 'yes' button to turn on the machine. "Okay, Edward. Are vampires animals, vegetables, minerals, or other?" I pressed the button on the right-hand side. "Oh, or unknown?"

"Unknown," he said without much thought. "We're certainly not animals. But nor are we _vegetables_." I snickered at his tone, but pressed the button on unknown.

"Alright." I watched the question play across the screen, reading it aloud as it played. "Is it multi-colored?"

Edward grinned. "Sometimes."

"Is it smaller than a loaf of bread?" I asked.

He looked at the ball curiously. "Who came up with these questions?"

I kissed his cheek. "I don't know, but they seem to do a good job. Now answer," I ordered.

"Well, _I'm _not smaller than a loaf of bread. Unless it was an enormous-meant-to-feed-an-army loaf of bread," he sighed.

Pressing no, I leaned back against him. "Can you play with it?" I blushed involuntarily.

Edward laughed. "It depends on which 'play' you mean. But I'd say no." I pretended to pout. He poked me in the ribs. "Keep your opinions PG-Rated, please. Next question."

"Is it something you can purchase?" I continued, obeying reluctantly.

"Certainly not." I glanced back at Edward, and he smiled at me.

I sighed. "Does it have legs?"

He chuckled. "How'd I get here without them?"

That was a yes. I pressed the little button, which bleeped annoyingly. "Okay. Does it come in many varieties?"

"Not really. I mean, we're all extraordinarily beautiful, fast, strong, and just all-around amazing," he teased. "Especially compared to humans." I hit him, moving away to the other end of the bed.

Well, I would have, if he hadn't held me in place with his incredible strength. Dang inhuman-ness.

Edward's iron arms locked around me, pulling me into his lap. "I'm sorry, love. I can't help but tease you. You're adorable when you're angry," he breathed in my ear. "Forgive me?"

I didn't answer, folding my arms across my chest. Part of it was stubbornness, but the other part was that I temporarily forgot how to breathe because Edward's eyes were smoldering at me again.

Forcing myself to look back down at the plastic in my hands, I sighed. "Whatever. Next question. Is it a vegetarian?"

Behind me, Edward burst out laughing. "I would say no unless you want that little thing to try to guess my name."

"I already tied that," I murmured. "And it doesn't know you, trust me." I pressed the 'no' button. "Is it brown?"

He pushed a strand of stray hair out of my eyes. "No, but your hair is."

"How about fur?" I pressed. "Does it have fur?"

Edward glanced at his completely bare arm beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. I looked, too. He looked absolutely breathtaking in black. "No again."

I watched the LED screen again. "Can you see it at a zoo?"

Edward chuckled again. "At least it's catching on that a vampire is something living, in some senses of the word. No," he answered, his voice mocking. "And these are very idiotic questions. How will they help?"

"Does it have a tail?" I continued, passing the opportunity for Edward to make fun of me.

"No."

"Is it a..." I stopped, not liking the question. I knew how Edward would answer, and I didn't enjoy it.

He nudged me with his elbow. "What?" He leaned over to read it. "Oh. I want _you _to answer this one."

I watched in horror as his face changed, taking on the menacing mask of a monster. "What do you think?" he hissed, and I shivered. "Am I a predator?"

I gulped, looking away. I hated Edward and his stupid tests that weren't really tests. "_I_ don't think that you're a predator," I told him honestly. Something flickered over his face, some barely seen emotion, and I changed my answer slightly. "But I think you _could _be, if you wanted it."

Edward grinned, relaxing. Apparently, I had passed. He kissed me lightly, but still reached around me to press 'yes'.

"Does it have claws?" I read.

Edward playfully hooked his fingers. "Emmett would love it if we did. It would come in handy in a fight. No."

The screen flickered and we both looked on as the Twenty Q boasted, "I can read you like a book!"

"Oh no, Edward! He's stolen your mind-reading powers!" I teased.

Edward growled just as teasingly. "It's not like I would need them anyways," he retorted. "It's not like _you _think anything."

I smacked him. "Edward Cullen! I think—"

He cut me off, kissing me again, only stopping when I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Behave, Bella," he whispered. "And I told you, you're so cute when you're mad. It's irresistible. I love it."

As if anything about _me _could be irresistible to someone like _him_. Yeah, right.

"Can it swim?" I asked, when the next question flashed.

"Yes. And I'm terribly sorry, again," he apologized. "I'll try not to do it again."

I rolled my eyes. "Is it a mammal?"

"Sure."

"Was it used over 100 years ago?"

Edward glanced at me thoughtfully. "I was changed over 100 years ago," he said. "So, yes."

"Does it bring joy to people?" I continued, flushing pink again. My finger hovered over the 'yes'.

He reached over me and pressed 'no'. "It depends on who you ask." He sent a very purposeful look in my direction. "Most _normal _people aren't excited or cheered up to have a vampire around."

I ignored that comment. "Can it run fast?"

"Of course. I—I mean vampires," Edward corrected, "_can _do anything."

There would be no more pouting for me tonight. I glared at him. He needed to stop provoking me, or I was going to kick him out.

I was, after all, the Queen of Sheba. Which pretty much meant that there was no way until Hell froze over, pigs flew, and the fat lady sang that I would ever throw Edward out.

"Alright. It's thinking. Now we wait," I told him.

Second later, the answer showed up on the screen. I grinned. "Congratulations, Edward. You and your kind have been reduced to pirates."

Edward pouted this time. "But you still love me, right?"

I pretended to think about it.

"Five more questions," he demanded. "This thing _will _get it right."

I shook my head defiantly. "I've been trying for _hours_, Edward. I bet the next guess will be alien."

His eyes lit up. "What would you be willing to bet?"

Sticking my hand out, I said, "Anything. Except adding more years on until you finally decide to change me."

Edward's eyes narrowed.

I was getting smarter. _Never _answer an important question with the word anything. It would backfire.

"Fine," he said. "If I win, I get to take you out on a very expensive, fancy date. And you can't complain that I'm spending too much money on you. You win, and you choose where we go. But we're still going out, no matter what."

"Why would I—"

He grabbed my hand and shook it. "Shh," he whispered. "We made a deal."

I groaned, tossing the Twenty Q ball at him. He caught it smoothly, reading the question as it played on the screen. "Is it usually colorful?" he asked. He pressed a button and I heard a beep. "No."

I took it back. "Do you know any songs about it?"

"No," Edward replied.

"Does it stand on two legs?"

Edward lifted a leg that was next to me, and pointed at the other one. "One," he counted. "Two. Yes."

"Can it be hunted?" I asked.

"The hunter being hunted?" he scoffed. "But yes," he agreed. "There _are _actual vampire hunters."

I giggled. "Has Buffy ever chased _you_?" The picture in my head of the blonde girl trying to catch Edward while he was running made me laugh again.

He kissed my forehead. "No, Silly Bella. Buffy is _fictional_."

"Last one. Does it live in groups?" I said.

Edward snatched it away, pressing 'sometimes.' He held me away while he read the screen.

Slowly, a triumphant look spread across his face. "Look like I owe you a very expensive date."

"You're kidding!" I gasped, pulling the purple globe towards me. "I tried for forever!"

Sure enough, the words 'it's a vampire?' were scrolling across the window.

Edward scooted me onto the bed. "It's late. You need sleep."

"Do you have _planning _to do?" I sneered, put out by my loss.

He grinned, picking up my new toy. "Nope. I just want to see if this thing will guess werewolf."

* * *

**A/N: This is a result of about seven hours straight of paying with a Twenty Questions ball. And just plain boredom. The things that Bella said the thing guessed correctly were things I have done before... I've done cheetah, unicorn, dragon, hippogriff (the thing form Harry Potter), and various other random things...**

**That 20Q ball is so accurate it's almost scary... My mom thought that there was a microphone in it that could hear you if you said the answer out loud...**

**But there isn't.**

**And vampire and werewolf were a couple that it wouldn't guess... For vampire is kept guessing alien and pirate... And for werewolf, it guessed velociraptor... Whatever that is. I think it's a dinosaur.**

**This story was written WHILE I was playing with this, so I used the real questions and the real answers I put in...**

**Anyways... This is sort of lame. There needs to be a genre of 'random'.**

**-----YoolieYick the Amazing, Magnificent, and All-Powerful 3 Musketeers Rapper**

**Oh, and I really like the question 'Is it heavier than a pound of butter?' That makes me laugh because a pound of one thing is equal to a pound of another... **

**It reminds me of the brain teaser, 'which one is heavier, a pound of bricks, or a pound of feathers?'**

**Most people would say the bricks, but that's wrong. A pound of something is automatically equal to a pound of anything else. There would just be a lot more feathers. : )**

**If you want me to continue, I will... But I think it's better as a oneshot!!!**


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